An Ethical Guide to Social Media by a Child of Social Media
My own social media pages can often feel foreign to me. Despite this truth, my work experience and passion lies within content creation. It is an enjoyable sector. The notion of modern media being at the hands of the individual is powerful. As a child of social media, I believe that the decisions on responsible usage lie in our hands.
I have been lucky enough to witness the positive impacts. Working with companies or institutions and being able to promote their efforts has been incredibly rewarding. When this tool is used to assist in promotion of passion, it incites an empowering experience. The positive benefits are undeniable. Social media defined my path towards creative entrepreneurship. The first thing an artist will emphasize is how to advertise oneself. When I think under the pushpins of my vision board, I understand that social media and digital creation will be an aspect of my artistry that I will never hand off. I have always thrived at the direct ties to community.
We are only learning now the specifics of this superpower. My generation was the first to have an active access to the abundance of high paced social media existing today. I am a child of social media: raised by Youtubers, and glued to my iPod Touch. We are all too familiar, but for some reason recoil when it comes to addressing the concerning impacts of this by name.
My discussion of the dangers of social media often makes me feel like a scolding parent. When adults came into our classroom to read statistics, it felt as though they couldn't truly understand how imperative these activities felt. It was our lifestyle. I often had the thought of "you don't understand"
I picture myself and my brain at the age of some of my followers. It terrifies me to think of them witnessing and partaking in the same feed that I do. It terrifies me that I have become so desensitized to the degree of only caring about the sensitive mind. Many of my peers live with the fact that our minds are now inherently desensitized. The concept of child and social media is a complex issue. One which nobody is truly at fault for. My family heavily monitored my own social media usage and I was still able to access these harmful spaces on a regular basis.
I have no real perspective when it comes to parenting. As I watch my peers become parents, I can't help but crave an optimists future of sensitive and thoughtful minds.
Open Mic’s Double Sided Coin
The weapon that harmed my own self esteem was not social media. A common mistake is to demonize the usage itself. The harm truly came from how I felt about my position in the world. The way the internet answered my insecure questions kept me addicted. In traditional media, the dangers of this are nuanced if shown at all. This is not to say that harm has never been an issue of traditional media. Traditional media often goes through several rounds of approval before being publicized. Now, thoughts can become media instantaneously.
Justice to misuse comes rarely, and often exists in only the most extreme of cases. As long as social media exists, someone to tell you that you are living life incorrectly will exist. In addressing this issue, a parent will often take the opinion of “you’re too young to think about that”. Which can be perceived to the easily subjected and vulnerable mind as an attack on their capability rather than what it is, an encouragement of their potential. Do you remember the single-digits of your age, and a family friend being a tad older than you? How it meant she chose what games you would play? It is simple for a 4 year old to think of a 6 year old as the poster of wisdom. It is equally simple for children and teens to associate reliability to a high follower count.
The understanding that anyone can post almost anything on social media without repercussions is important for everyone at every age to fully conceptualize. In the case of a small business finding a new audience, this is lovely! In the case of humanitarian work, life saving campaigns, education on justice, this is a phenomenal advancement in positive connection! However, there are two sides to this coin. There is a danger to this level of freedom.
I’ve received atrocious messages about myself that I never would have heard without social media. There are two points to make here, the first being that social media is not going away. The second being that treating social media as a disconnected alternate universe where there are no moral rules is our current pattern, and has already proven to be our downfall.
When your child reaches the age where everyone around them has social media it will be hard not to provide it to them, and even harder to provide it to them. The idea of handing my child a phone would somewhat feel like a loss of innocence. I know how badly this tool impacted me in my youth, and I also know how positively it impacted me once I had the skills to handle it responsibly.
April 12th
On April 12th of this year I received a string of negative comments that multiplied exponentially throughout the day. My only choice at sanity was to turn off my phone entirely. I ultimately found the ability to joke about it, and use the moment to spread awareness. I noted how anyone who uses their time and energy to emit negativity must live a horrid life. But I was a hypocrite in saying this. I didn’t show that it affected me, I pretended to be careless when in reality it broke me. My friends spent all day keeping me off of my phone, walking me to and from class, and staying with me until I fell asleep.
I remember looking at one comment instructing me to starve myself and clicking on the account expecting to see a middle aged man.The commenter ended up being a girl no older than 13. My self-pitying sorrow stopped in its tracks for a moment. I could not feel any worse for myself than I did for her.
Where on earth did she learn this from?
What echo chamber had she somehow gotten herself into?
Would she ever get out?
What kind of adult does this inevitably create?
How does she feel about herself?
My concern for her is what made me realize how damaging and invalid this all was. I was concerned for her to live inside this state where vile and untrue things being said were commonplace. I didn’t see the situation wholly as vile and untrue untilI came across her, and what she represented.
The Highlight Reel
A dangerous and misinterpreted statement often said is that “social media is not real life”. This pertains more to the confusion that lies within images and advertising. Many take this saying as an exemption of their own behaviour. Your interactions on social media are real life.
The “Social media is a highlight reel” concept is well known. But what does this mean? To me, this means an ideal moment + additional editing = what the world sees. I think often about what little unedited pictures of myself I keep. I think about my daughter in the future wanting to see pictures of me. How I will have to explain that I didn’t really look like that? editing myself until I was unrecognizable or erasing some years entirely in insecurity?
Looking at the bigger picture, If someone chooses to go to the extremes of this concept, they have every right to do so. This is the largest stage that we have been given. This is a fair and equal game. Why should the pointed finger fall on Kim Kardashian for her modifications? Does this criticism actually deconstruct the notion of the "ideal body" itself? Or is it an excuse to throw blame on someone actively making attempts to feel comfortable in her body? Why was she unable to feel comfortable in her body at its most natural? Why do we blame her for this? Does the responsibility fall on her solely because she has a larger audience? What do we have to learn about the power of influence? Some view it as impossible to act on insecurity while being an authentic ‘good feminist', 'good mother', or 'natural woman'. We now hold the responsibility to be a part of this oppressive competition while actively choosing to put ourselves behind to rid of any notion of hypocrisy.
I want to believe that the issue of “the highlight reel” is not the concept in itself, but what qualities we have decided to highlight. I’ve found myself putting less thought into the pride of a good hair day than I would the pride of achieving a personal goal. My highlight reel has become the protective walls around my sanctuary. When it comes to the concept, I just ask more and more questions. Perhaps my hypocrisy stops me from answering; Perhaps I struggle to accept that there are no exceptions to an authentic digital presence.
The power of immediate media, the double sided coin, the dangers, the demonized, the desensitized, the highlights, andthe edits. In all of this, the priority is knowledge. We now have the educators benefit of first-hand experience. We hold the power to control what we view. We hold the power to recognize inaccuracies. It is up to oneself to make their own social media experience positive.Responsible usage is the recognition that one is in control of their own digital experience. Having these skills can empower not only us, but gives us something authentic to teach.
SO WHAT NOW?
(I DON'T KNOW)
As for my choices in how I will continue forward with social media, I have no concrete goals. I set the following intentions with the hope that they will make me a more conscious audience member, and a more authentic stage presence:
1. Committing to a more conscious thought of what I view, and how it makes me feel. The concept of the ideologist is sometimes viewed as someone with their head in the clouds. Don’t let anyone tell you not to think through anything you question. Don’t let anyone tell you that critical thinking is wasted time.
2. Thinking more often about the daughters of our generation.
3. Remembering that my stage is all mine to decorate and speak on. Remembering how important it is to put on a genuine and sometimes even a vulnerable show.
If I discover more principles as I go forward, I will be happy to share. But for now, I’m hoping these words and thoughts have brought you a desire to think critically in the world's largest and newest playground.
Sincerely,
A Child of Social Media.
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